10 Must-Haves for a Redneck WeddinPosted: December 27, 2008
1. Spittoon- With all the male bonding there will be a lot of chewing done, spitting too. So to keep the yard half way clean, have those spittoons strategist placed. Make sure you empty into the Hog pen often.
2. Charcoal Grille- What would a wedding be without a fine dinner. Have the grill hot and waiting for the next road kill to appear, or the bear you shot out back yesterday.
3. Pair of Tall Boots- You knows with all those rednecks around there will be a lot of bull to wade through. And they look perfect with the custom made grain sack you choose for your dress.
4. Fanny-pack- A great way to collect all the IOU’s you will receive from the guests. And the special gift for the bride and groom. A universal key to outhouses. You don’t want to leave home without it.
5. Bread Ties- Get the newest one and if you are lucky you might find another one for a matched set of rings.
6. Old Barrel- To keep in the creek with the “champagne “of beer, Budweiser. I’m sure someone will bring some “family recipe” to sample. Make sure you keep it cold in the creek.
7. Old Tires- You might have to borrow a few from the neighbors for the seating you will need. You might even put on the invitations BYOT (bring your own tire).
8. Goldenrod- Scour the fields for the weeds of your choice. Watch out for the cow pies. Tie the flowers together with a piece of horse hair from Mable, the family pet.
9. Chicken Feed- Make sure the wedding procession walks near the chicken pen, so two chores can be done at one time.
10. Shotgun- And finally a good quality shotgun. Loaded of course. This makes the whole ceremony legal and binding