Banner of Truth Trip & the Oneliners

I attend a number of conferences in and throughout the year for RHB that I work for. However, attending conferences for my own personal reason and spiritual growth is hard to do at times. This past spring in May, a few guys put some money together and took me to my first Banner Conference. Driving from Michigan gave me and the guys a good amount of to talk about seminary, life, wives or the lack there of, and anything else that randomly came to my mind. With in an hour, my roommate Dirk Naves opened up his computer to begin writing down all of the “one-liners” that came from my mouth. All though some are not given in their context, if you know me, you will laugh.

Derek: “That’s the church we’re gonna buy.” *points to massive Catholic cathedral*
Mike: “Yeah. You can get buildings like that from the government for like a buck!”

Shawn: “I was in a cult.”
Derek: “Is that where you met Tammy? ‘Where’d you meet your wife? We met at a cult meeting.'”
Mike: “Yeah, we were sacrificing racoons; nailin’ ’em to crosses ‘n stuff.”

Derek: “Jeff’s gonna schmooze with all the OPC big-wigs.”
Mike: “Yeah, he’ll probably end up sleeping with Rick Philips or something.” (meaning, sleeping in the same room)

Mike: “Guys, hold on! I was gonna say something serious.”

Mike: “…so this semi comes over the hill and hits the bear *BOOM*! It was just like a commercial!!
Nathan: “A commercial for what!?!”

Mike: *takes picture* “Oh my goodness! You look exactly like Rico Suave!!”
Derek: “Who’s Rico Suave?”
Mike: “Well, I don’t actually know.”

Mike: “A birth canal? What’s a birth canal? Is that where the snork comes out of?”
Nathan: “A snork!?”
Mike: “Whatever they’re called; I’ve always called them snorks.”

Mike: “I’ve got five bucks. That’s a can of chew or five double cheeseburgers!”

Mike: *looking at pocket watches* Do they have any cool lookin’ ones? Like with a deer on it or something?”

Mike: “I just studied and talked about Don Quixote going to hell and stuff. Well, purgatory or hell; whatever, they’re the same.”
Derek: “Don Quixote? He didn’t go to hell! That was Dante!”
Mike: “Oh yeah, Dante Inferno went to hell.”

Mike: “That would suck for the incarnationists.”
Shawn: “You mean reincarnationists…”
Mike: “Oh yeah. I was thinking incarnations were flowers.”

Mike: “Okay, so Dr. Beeke and I were at the bar…” (meaning, we walked into a Pub and ate hamburgers)