10 Must-Haves for a Redneck Weddin

1. Spittoon- With all the male bonding there will be a lot of chewing done, spitting too. So to keep the yard half way clean, have those spittoons strategist placed. Make sure you empty into the Hog pen often.

2. Charcoal Grille- What would a wedding be without a fine dinner. Have the grill hot and waiting for the next road kill to appear, or the bear you shot out back yesterday.

3. Pair of Tall Boots- You knows with all those rednecks around there will be a lot of bull to wade through. And they look perfect with the custom made grain sack you choose for your dress.

4. Fanny-pack- A great way to collect all the IOU’s you will receive from the guests. And the special gift for the bride and groom. A universal key to outhouses. You don’t want to leave home without it.

5. Bread Ties- Get the newest one and if you are lucky you might find another one for a matched set of rings.

6. Old Barrel- To keep in the creek with the “champagne “of beer, Budweiser. I’m sure someone will bring some “family recipe” to sample. Make sure you keep it cold in the creek.

7. Old Tires- You might have to borrow a few from the neighbors for the seating you will need. You might even put on the invitations BYOT (bring your own tire).

8. Goldenrod- Scour the fields for the weeds of your choice. Watch out for the cow pies. Tie the flowers together with a piece of horse hair from Mable, the family pet.

9. Chicken Feed- Make sure the wedding procession walks near the chicken pen, so two chores can be done at one time.

10. Shotgun- And finally a good quality shotgun. Loaded of course. This makes the whole ceremony legal and binding

What I Got for Christmas

Since today is Christmas I figured I’d jot down the number of items I received for gifts and from who. Throughout the rest of the day I’ll up-date them, that is  if I receive anything more? 

Emily (my girl-friend) – Levis Slim Straight 514 Jeans
My Mom – XBox 360 Live 3 Month Gold Card 
Emily’s mom & dad –  The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

Thankful

Often the Lord places men that have mentored you and help teach you in becoming a man of God? These are mine in no particular order just the ones that came to my mine that I am thankful for. 

Dan Cruver
Joel Beeke
Wayne Mullet
Shane Miller

 Who is yours?

What’s Your Thoughts about Seminary?

You Use Twitter?

If you happen to use Twitter, please let me know either through email, comments, facebook or whatever means you’d like. If you are not using Twitter, please join then tell me.

How to Mark a Book

A friend shared this on twitter and I found it quite helpful (right away)! 

By Mortimer J. Adler, Ph.D.

There are all kinds of devices for marking a book intelligently and fruitfully. Here’s the way I do it:

• Underlining (or highlighting): of major points, of important or forceful statements.
• Vertical lines at the margin: to emphasize a statement already underlined.
• Star, asterisk, or other doo-dad at the margin: to be used sparingly, to emphasize the ten or twenty most important statements in the book. (You may want to fold the bottom comer of each page on which you use such marks. It won’t hurt the sturdy paper on which most modern books are printed, and you will be able take the book off the shelf at any time and, by opening it at the folded-corner page, refresh your recollection of the book.)
• Numbers in the margin: to indicate the sequence of points the author makes in developing a single argument.
• Numbers of other pages in the margin: to indicate where else in the book the author made points relevant to the point marked; to tie up the ideas in a book, which, though they may be separated by many pages, belong together.
• Circling or highlighting of key words or phrases.
• Writing in the margin, or at the top or bottom of the page, for the sake of: recording questions (and perhaps answers) which a passage raised in your mind; reducing a complicated discussion to a simple statement; recording the sequence of major points right through the books. I use the end-papers at the back of the book to make a personal index of the author’s points in the order of their appearance.

Read the whole article here.

Time in a Postmodern Culture

I often read that some of reformers/puritans would study the Scriptures 16-20 hours a day. What life would be without sports, computers, blogs, twitter, facebook, myspace, movies, TV, video games and the massive publications of books…

Twitter Me

Just started finally to figure this out, and like it! If you twitter, hit-me-up so that I can follow you as well. You can follow me here. 

Traveling Mercies?

People often when traveling somewhere will pray for “traveling mercies.”  After traveling now for my work the last 8 months and hearing time after time people pray for my “traveling mercies” or pray that the Lord might grant me traveling mercies, I have often wondered, “does that make any sense, at all!” 

Traveling – the action of making a journey, typically of some length or abroad.

Mercies– is one showing compassion and forgiveness toward someone whom it is within one’s power to punish or harm.

So technically when we pray this, we are praying that God would be compassionate and forgive us of our traveling so that he would not crash our car when he could? Why not just pray for “safe travels.”

Sabbath a Type or not?

The events of the Old Testament were seen as part of the story, a prefiguration, with the events of Christ’s life. The technical name for seeing the New Testament in the Old Testament is called typology.

The doctrine of typology is best defined and most succinctly by Paul in Colossians 2:16-17

“Therefore do not let anyone judge you by what you eat or drink, or with regard to a religious festival, a New Moon celebration or a Sabbath day. These are a shadow of the things that were to come; the reality, however, is found in Christ.”

Just a thought…

Typology for the Common Man

Today in Hermeneutics for the second lecture on typology the class got in a long conversation once more about the what are and aren’t types of Christ in and throughout the Scriptures. During the middle of class (which I am sure that professor would not be a fan of) one of my fellow  seminarians send me an email on how I am a type and how I am not a type of a Scottish professor at Puritan Reformed Theological Seminary named Dr. David Murray. Now many of you may not get this, or even understand. However the ones that do, will enjoy this.

Type of the Scotsman

• in the fact that you’re a seminary employee
• in the fact that you’ wear brown shoes with black pants
• in the fact that you wear a red tie with a black jacket

But:

• in you’re joking and sense of humor
• in you’re shaved head
• in you’re Ohio accent

Summary: You fall short of the great Scotsman.  He is the “greater-than-Mike.” When I look at you, I think of Dr. Murray.  But when I talk to you, I see that you’re only but a shadow of him.

ME

Dr. David Murray

I see NO TYPE

CEDARVILLE BOMB!!!

Interesting article in what happen at Cedarville University yesterday…

Joe the Plumber

For those of you who are interested in the “Joe the Plumber” here you go.

They’re Back! Those Wonderful Church Bulletins!

Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services (Summer, 2007 Release).

———————————————————-
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
———————————————————-
The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’ The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’
———————————————————-
Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall.  Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
————————— ——————————-
Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
———————————————————-
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
———————————————————-
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love.  Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you.
———————————————————
Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.
———————————————————
Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I Will Not Pass This Way Again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
———————————————————-
For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
———————————————————-
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir.
They need all the help they can get.
———————————————————-
The Rector will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing: ‘Break Forth Into Joy.’
———————————————————
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24th in the church.  So ends a friendship
that began in their school days.
———————————————————
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will
be ‘What Is Hell?’  Come early and listen to our choir practice.
———————————————————
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
———————————————————
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.  Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
———————————————————
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
———————————————————
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
———————————————————
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – Prayer and medication to follow.
———————————————— ———
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of
every kind.  They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
———————————– —— —————–
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in
the park across from the Church.  Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
———————————————————
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at
10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
———————————————————-
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles
for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
——————————————–
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday
at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
———————————————————
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
———————————————————-
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.  Please use the large double
doors at the side entrance.
———————————————————-
The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday : ‘I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours’

BBC’s Own Matt Haeck! (ha)

Redneck Grammar

Situation: Going to BIGBY’s Coffee with a few boys

Andy Parker: What did you get Dewalt?

Dewalt: A Punkin Spice Latte

Andy: What is THAT! Oh, did you mean pumpkin?

Dirk: Yes, he did.

Ted: Ha-ha, ha-ha!!

Palin and the Pulpit

Some have asked me today about the Voddie Video. Here you go.

Sick of Politics!?

Is anyone else sick of Politics? I am! I am only writing this post to give me opinion, that both parties suck tremendously this coming election and that I cannot believe the tremendous amount of Reformed and Evangelicals that jump on the “moral” band wagons of the Republican party, but then in electing a woman VP, we help her after just having a child, not fulfill her biblical role in the home.

Whether or not a woman should work outside the home is a frequent question. The Bible does have instructions regarding a woman’s role. In Titus 2:3-4, Paul gives these instructions as to how a young married woman is to be trained by older women: “…train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands so that no one will malign the Word of God.” In this passage, the Bible is clear that when children are in the picture, that is where the young woman’s responsibility lies. The older women are to teach the younger women and to live lives that glorify God. Keeping these responsibilities in mind, the older woman’s time can be spent at the Lord’s leading and her discretion.

Proverbs 31 speaks of “A wife of noble character.” Starting at verse 11, the writer praises this woman as one who does everything in her power to care for her family. She works hard to keep her house and her family in order. Verses 16, 18, 24, and 25 show that she is so industrious that she also moonlights with a cottage industry that provides additional income for her family. This woman’s motivation is important in that her business activities were the means to an end, not an end in themselves. She was providing for her family, not furthering her career, using her degree, or working to keep up with the Joneses. Her employment was only a sidebar to her true calling—the stewardship of her husband, children, and home.

The Bible nowhere forbids a woman from working outside the home. However, the Bible does teach what a woman’s priorities are to be. If working outside the home causes a woman to neglect her children and husband, then it is wrong for that woman to work outside the home. If a Christian woman can work outside the home and still provide a loving, caring environment for her children and husband, then it is perfectly acceptable for a woman to work outside the home.

Now how does the, Reformed, Fundamentalist & Evangelicals feel about helping a woman shortly after having a child take on one of the most hardest, toughest jobs in the world, being the Vice-President of America? To me, it is sicking to see Christians say, “they are against abortion, they are against stem-cell, and they are against gay marriage, they must be voted in.”

PS- I am not democratic in anyway and disagree with Obama in about every way, shape and form. However, I am most certainly this year not Republican either.This will be the only and last politic post you will see on this blog.

Reformation 21 Funny

Reformation 21 made a funny today on Justin Taylor and it is quite funny.

Hole in the Wall

I set down this evening to read According to Plan, by Graeme Goldsworthy. I happen to turn on the TV to have the Colts game going on in the background. When I turned on the TV, American’s new game show, Hole in the Wall. I have no thoughts about the TV show, just in awe.

For the Christian Video Game Lovers

Interesting shirt to say the least, for those of you that may love Wii.

Twitter Help

Can someone tell/teach me how to get twitter to work with WordPress blogs???